TO PURGE OR NOT TO PURGE

Stepping away from one era of your life to embrace a new one, no matter where you’re moving on to, is both exciting and daunting at the same time. I suspect it's even tougher if you’re going overseas, though any major move qualifies. What are you going to need? What can’t you give up?  Jeff and I ended up stuffing our entire existence into four suitcases to come 
to Cuenca. Yikes. Four suitcases!

Reducing your life to almost nothing is sheer craziness, yet we've come to find that purging can be a beautiful thing. You sell, you give away, and ultimately you’re left with only those things that really mean the most. Household goods and clothes can be replaced no matter what. But the biggest AHA! moment is finding out exactly what you absolutely cannot live without. And interestingly enough, it may not be that much.

Mind you, if you’re going to do this at all, expect some pretty heated tug-of-war-like tiffs between you and your partner that go something like this: “WHAT? Are you kidding me? Of all the things, you’re going to bring THAT? We’ve only got 50 pounds allowance per bag. And THIS is what you're taking?” Word of advice: expect lots of cursing, tears, and very possibly great chasms of silence.

So what were the do-or-die things for us? The most crucial for me were a few wall-art pieces I’d collected along the way. Not necessarily expensive, they represent where I’ve been and who I am.  I knew I’d need them to make my future home my home. Fortunately we managed to fit them into the luggage by removing the frames. Woohoo! they were good to go.


For Jeff, it was all about the technology and the music. I, of course, didn’t quite get why we had to lug a speaker amp (or base module, he clarifies for me - whatever that is), stuffed into my carry-on. But now I do. High quality items like this are pretty pricey in Latin America. So here we are in our new home, frames replaced and walls properly adorned, surfing the net with great tunes filling the spaces. Life is good. 

Of course, some people choose the option of sending all their goods down to their new home in a container. That especially makes sense in terms of not having to start from scratch, which really can be overwhelming. It’s wild when you have to buy all the big and little things all over again like utensils, dishes, appliances, furniture, rugs, wastebaskets. cleaning products...I could go on. For some that might sound like pure hell, and I get it. For us it gave us a chance to redefine ourselves here, keeping our new home and culture in mind. It’s neither easy nor inexpensive, though, so that’s a choice you have to make.

Funny thing is, there are only a few things I miss not being able to get like maple syrup, horseradish, Italian seasoning and our favorite dental floss picks, (believe it or not). And practically speaking weight-wise, I can still get my books on Kindle, and my cherished photos on my computer. What more does one need? Okay, so frothy towels and sateen sheets are tougher to find (and definitely way more expensive) here. But special orders like that are yet another reason we love visitors from back home!

So, take a look around you. If you had to purge and leave almost everything behind, what would you take? What objects do you treasure most in life and wouldn’t want to live without?  Or if you couldn’t do that at all, what would you put in your container and why? 
And of course, if you have taken the plunge, which way did you go - purge or take it with you? What was your experience like? Would you do it again?

DON'T ASK IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW

Writing is a fairly new gig for me, so lately I'd been thinking that it would be great to get some real, solid feedback on my blog. Are the topics interesting? Something more than a few people might find worth reading? Cogently written? My secret fear is that it’s being read mainly by loyal friends and family too nice to tell me they’ve read better stuff in the classifieds.

Well, this past week I did get a piece of feedback, and I’m not quite sure what to do with it. It came from a dear friend and fellow blogger - one whose own blog is so awesome that he’s become somewhat of a legend when it comes to writing about expat living in Cuenca. His talent is real, with an easy-going voice that draws you in and makes you automatically want to call him "friend". His blog also has informational substance. Mine, in contrast, meanders through esoteric subjects that may or may not be of interest to anyone else but myself.

Anyway, I know his comment was intended to be positive and constructive, though I didn’t quite take it that way. He told me the blog was good, and/but that it was “relentlessly cheery”. RELENTLESSLY CHEERY@#$#$%%! He might as well have outright called me a Pollyanna. Little Miss Sunshine. He might as well have said its saccharine sweetness made him gag. Aaaargh! And here I was thinking I was doing some real serious writing. 

It’s not the first time I’ve been accused of this, whether in the context of writing or in just being. This is pretty much who I am. I’ve got my downers, but I don’t dwell on them, let alone share them. I deal with them and move on. Besides, I’d rather put something positive out there; maybe even something thought-provoking. My Pollyanna self actually resents this world of apathy, aggression, and wise-#$% comments. I like seeing things through happy-glasses, and actually think it’s gotten me a pretty decent life so far. Call me Pollyanna, but it works.

Okay, to be fair, I’m probably being a bit defensive here. Maybe it’s because the truth hurts, be it a grain or full pearl. But then again, if I look at it from my usual sunshine-y disposition (!), maybe the truth can  inspire me. Not that I’m guaranteeing less cheer, mind you. But I may just be more conscious of trying not to make my readers nauseous. (I think.)

So now for the real questions for feedback.  I really would love to hear what you have to say to make this blog the best it can be. If you could comment on any or all of the following, I’d really appreciate it. 

What topics would you like to see addressed?

Do you have any specific comments about the writing style?

Are the theme and format attractive? Easy to read?

Any suggestions for improvement?

Oh, and by the way, thanks for reading!  :-)

ONCE YOU GET THERE

Life is a Journey, not a Destination.      Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can still see the tiny little refrigerator magnet I once had and think, "yes, it definitely is all about the journey." Of all the new places, big goals, and great changes in my life, the final arrival wasn't necessarily what exhilarated me.  It was always in choosing the new venture in the first place and then jumping into planning and detailing, pumped up with expectations and anticipations. It was diving into the journey and enjoying a new ride. And once it finally came to fruition, it was always fun to go through the process of settling into my newly created life.

But look out, because once I’m fully entrenched and things become routine, I’m off again to seek new adventures. What’s up with that? Can’t I ever be fully satisfied with the here and now?

I’ll give you an example. Here we are, full swing into our new life in Cuenca. We’ve got a great apartment, a wonderful (though hectic) social life, and everything else we need. All that, and still comes the certain truth: no matter how hard I try, every adventure I've ever known eventually turns into same old, same old every day life. I shop for groceries. I clean. I run errands. Boring.

Not that there’s any reason for boredom. Despite incredibly great surroundings, I’ve already begun to take them for granted. There are art shows, museums, symphonies, and restaurants with fantastic local cuisine. And what do I do? I ignore most of them.  All that research and excitement over the potential virtues of our new home, and now that we’re here, we take advantage of only a small iota of it. It’s crazy.

I guess it's a pattern. I grew up in Rhode Island, a tiny state filled with historic sites and beautiful beaches. Did I appreciate them? Mostly when friends visited. Only then did I get myself out to Newport, Providence and the southern shore.

I’ve also lived in Guatemala, Barcelona, and Costa Rica. Did I come to know everything about them? Far from it. I got into my daily life, and then when it came time to leave, that's when I got into “tourist mode” and took advantage of their highlights.

Apathetic. Spoiled. Ungrateful. I’m sure that’s what you’re thinking. But think about it. Once you’ve journeyed to your destination; once you’ve settled into every day life, do you appreciate and use what’s surrounding you?

Thinking about all this has made me realize that I need to make a promise to myself. While new adventures may be the most exciting, it’s time I learned to enjoy the journey I’m in. We’re actually off to an art show tonight. At least that’s a start...


So what do you think? Am I the only one??

CITY MOUSE, COUNTRY MOUSE

Here we are, living in the “big city”.  Alright, so it’s relatively a little city, but definitely a step into a very different lifestyle for us considering the fact we just came from the jungles of Costa Rica.

Jeff grew up in rural Connecticut with rich, sprawling farms and neighbors far and few between. He actually had his own farm in his “other” life, with horses and pigs and tractors and flower and vegetable gardens. We chuckle - there would’ve been no way we’d have even given each other a second look when we were young. I was as much of a farmer as an astronaut. Not quite “Dahling, I love you but give me Park Avenue!”, but close enough. 

He calls me a “city chick”, though you can imagine “city” is a relative term in Rhode Island. The house I lived in as a child was located in a microcosmic suburban neighborhood though, so it didn’t feel like a city at all. Still, I was lucky enough to know the countryside, too. My parents had a humble rustic cottage on a lake at the other end of the state (an long hour’s ride!) where went for the summers. The best of both worlds.

So how do you adjust to life in a condo when you’re used to “putzing” around in the country fresh air? That was a challenge at first. Before all else, we chose wisely in the first place. The old adage of “know thyself” worked. We knew we needed outdoor space, so that was the only thing we looked for without compromise. Cuenca’s got some beautiful buildings, but unfortunately, not a whole lot have outside areas or terraces. Some have bright, open rooms, though, and for many that’s certainly enough. Some of our friends even found great homes with lovely yards. We were lucky to find an apartment with enough terrace area to have a barbecue grill, hang out space, and planters. Our “gardens” may not be extensive, but boy, they’re a saving grace to keep us busy and enjoy that all-important sense of nature.

Another way to feed the “country mouse” part of us of course, is to get up and away. We really enjoy our thriving city social life with great new friends, and yet the options are endless in terms of getting out into the countryside. Last week friends invited us out to their charming “casita” just outside of Cuenca. Up on a lush green mountainside, it looks down on the city below, backed by more mountains across the way. Horses, cows, chickens, dogs - it had everything a country mouse would ever want.

Our first “big trip” was to the sleepy little town of Vilcabamba just the week before with dear friends. Talk about heaven. Vilcabamba is hidden in what’s known as the Valley of Longevity, where people are known to live as long as 120 years. There’s a fairly significant and growing expat community there as well. Everywhere you look the gorgeous Andes tower majestically over you. Country Jeff went off with a group for what turned out to be a daring horseback ride through perilously narrow and muddy paths with sheer drops below.  “One misstep of the horse and you were gone,” he said. Still, he was exhilarated and happy to have gone. Me? I’m glad the “city chick” stayed behind.

So what are you - country mouse or city mouse? I can go either way. I think, though, that I wouldn’t feel “full”  living too far away from nature. What about you?