'TIS THE SEASON

CHRISTMAS.  As the years go by its significance has changed for me, and I’m not sure I like it. As a child it was everything it’s meant to be ~ a delightful balance between celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus and the excitement of Santa coming down the chimney. 

My parents were devout Catholics who took us to church every Sunday, and religion was a natural, easy part of our lives. It guided me, comforted me, fascinated me. Setting out the nativity scene at Christmas time was one of my favorites. I imagined Mary and Joseph on their journey, full of innocence and pride. I loved getting to place that tiny little baby in the manger, destined to change the world.

The meaning of Christmas began to change for me when it evolved into a month of obligatory spending money I didn’t have. I resisted as much as I could not to get myself into debt, but it wasn’t easy. Thankfully I didn’t have kids! I honestly don’t understand how families do it at all, (much less why, with means or not). It felt all about adult peer pressure I didn’t want to buy into. Being overseas, I don’t miss that aspect of the holiday at all.

Despite that craziness, I always loved bringing Christmas into my home. On “decorating day” I’d set up my freshly cut little tree, put on my favorite holiday CD’s, and break out my three boxes of adornments. I’d made a tradition of treating myself to a unique ornament every year, and special memories flooded back as each was lifted out of the box. It was my own sacred ritual, one I've always treasured.

But alas, all that changed when we moved away from the States. We didn't bring in a container to Costa Rica, so we had to give up most of our possessions. That was actually pretty easy to do, except for those ornaments. They ended up getting weeded down to the favorites, and put upstairs in my mother-in-law’s garage. I couldn’t let go.

Now that we’re in Ecuador, I’m still missing that dang box. Funny thing is, my friends and I were talking yesterday, and they’ve had to do the same thing and feel the same way. It’s like walking away from your favorite photos ~ it’s walking away from your history. There are very few things we miss, but those are the biggest. Thankfully this one’s a once-in a-year challenge, but a tough one all the same. I’d give anything to get that box down here!

The religious aspect of Christmas has eluded me for awhile now, too. I’ve been through the (probably not atypical) struggle of questioning my Catholicism, and worse yet, the concept of God itself. I won’t get into that here, but suffice it to say that there are times I long for the unequivocal faith I once had. I guess that’s what trying to intellectualize faith can do. But that’s my issue...

Anyway, what I want to say is that despite Christmas having changed for me, I still adore the way Cuenca still celebrates its holy origins. We wake to church bells every morning and enjoy the religious symbols lit up everywhere. We love the massive parade of children all dressed up as shephards, angels, and Wise Men for the Paso de Los Niños on the on the 24th. We wonder at the loud booms of fireworks going off at all hours through December, but that’s the fun of it. At least here people are celebrating the right things for the right reasons.

Last but not at all least, Christmas is still about family ~ the thing I miss most of all. The laughter, the craziness, the love. Family was everything for my parents, and the holidays were our favorite times together. They still are. We are ~ dare I say it? ~ BLESSED to have been raised with a solid foundation of a loving family. Not being there with them gets to me every year -especially on Christmas Eve when we usually get together. Still, here we know families who gather for nine nights at various houses to celebrate of the coming of the baby Jesus. All month we see and feel much of what it used to be for us. We see and feel what it’s meant to be. 

Hey, maybe deep down Christmas hasn’t changed as much for me as I think...