WE SHOULD'VE STUCK WITH WOOD!

Jeff and I couldn’t wait. Wednesday was our fifth anniversary, and we figured we’d do something especially fun and romantic. We went online to look for local boutique hotels with spa treatments. What could be better than a wee bit of pampering?

Fortunately for us, there’s a little town called Baños just ten minutes away known for its natural thermal pools. We’d already visited one of the spas in that area, a wonderful place called Piedra de Agua. With volcanic mud baths, steam boxes, turkish baths, thermal pools and full-body massages, we’ve happily gone twice now - once with guests and another time on our own.

The downside of Piedra de Agua is that it doesn’t have a hotel. But right next door is the Hosteria Duran, a well-known older place that was one of the first to build a business around the thermal pools. So what the heck, we thought. Let’s go! 

The write-ups on Trip Advisor were very good, as was their website. It’s touted as a 4-out-of 5 star hotel, so I envisioned a quaint place with lots of character. We even went for the “wedding plan” - room with fireplace, complimentary fruit plate, and the choice of lunch or dinner. Such romance!

When we arrived in the late afternoon, we were whisked up to our room by a doorman clearly in a rush. He opened the door and left quickly. Our hearts sank. It wasn’t a terrible room, but it was definitely lifeless. A dreary day outside, it felt even drearier in the room. It was also freezing in there, but at least we had a fireplace, right? But then I looked at the stack of wood. We’d need a lot more to get us through the night if we started now.

Okay, so now what do we do? We had just passed the pool at the center of the courtyard. Empty. It was being cleaned, and it would be ready for the morning. All-righty, then. What else is there? We requested a tour of the grounds to learn about all the amenities. Our guide pointed out the racquetball and tennis courts. Oh, and turkish baths. Aha! we thought. That’s something. Still following, we were surprised to be being led across the parking lot. Oh, God, I thought. I’ll have to traipse across this parking lot in my bathing suit? Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. And without flip-flops, too. Lovely. 

The “baths” were located adjacent to the public (read: not romantic!!) thermal pools. Cold little white-tiled cubicles reminiscent of high school locker rooms, thermal water cascaded from a pipe jutting from the wall. The water filled into a little standing tub that could be plugged and sat in. Oh, joy.

Jeff and I looked at each other. Should we do it? By this time we’d figured we were here and paying for it, so went back to the room to change. Thankfully they’d left a couple of threadbare bathrobes and two towels. Oh, and I had just picked up a pair of flip-flops for $3.50 at the kiosk near the public pool. We were good to go. I guess.

In the so-called baths lavished with old chipped tile, we stepped down a couple of stairs into the cascading shower of steaming hot water. Once filled, we dared to sit down. It took seconds for my skin to itch like crazy and my eye contacts to blur. Oh, I was really loving this now. Jeff and I couldn’t help but laugh. This was insane!

So there we went again, traipsing back through the parking lot, soggy and chilled. We must’ve been especially entertaining to the group of curious schoolchildren now frolicking in the public pool. By the time we reached the room, we had both had it. We felt about as romantic as a wall. Should we leave? Yep. We have a much nicer home with fabulous views of the river and mountains. We’d be crazy to stay.

We packed up, and gave the news to the desk clerk. Though we’d only been there less than two hours, we were going to be charged the full rate, which didn’t make us happy. Thankfully the manager came in, and simply let us go. 

How could we explain how bad the experience was to us? Were we being typical demanding foreigners? I don’t think so. We’re both pretty easy going, but this one just let us down. So we left, had drinks and laughs at home with dear friends, and went on to a romantic evening and dinner at our favorite restaurant here called Tiestos. Our only regret? Not having stuck with the traditional gift of wood for the fifth anniversary. Who knows? I could’ve gotten a cool cutting board and Jeff could’ve gotten some shelves or something(!) Oh, well. Better anniversary planning next time!